dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dick very happy bro
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
