you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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