And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All the doctor said was why
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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