I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
