She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
