AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
