Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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