I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
