So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
