I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
