Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
