69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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