the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
