We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
