omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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