i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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