Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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