Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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