He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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