Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Welp...herpes.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
