I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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