Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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