I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this beer tastes like vomit already
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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