I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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