no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize