Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
