Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
