Will you blow on my dice?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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