I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
