Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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