no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
