Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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