After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
