absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
