they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
