i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
