Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
