lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
