I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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