The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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