Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
