Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize