He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
