Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
