I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
