do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
