PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
