are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
