Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Randomize
