I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
