Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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