four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
