Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The adults are the big ones right?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize