goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
