You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
