Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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