Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
