Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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